You may have heard that what women want in bed is a more sensual, unrushed foreplay. You may also know that they hate it when you just fall asleep after making love without cuddling and kissing, right?
But do you know exactly what they want in between?
Whether you’ve been married for years or just in a new relationship, is never too late to discover what your partner wants in bed and the delicious difference between merely having sex and making love.
Yes, what women want in bed has to do with your ‘equipment’ and how well it works, of course - nobody can deny that - we’ll deal with it in a minute.
But before that, let’s take a look first at the other three things that women want in bed:
Okay, I know what you think now. That she wants you to get down on her... Perhaps. But more than that, there’s something else she wants in bed: hearing compliments.
Compliments are always good, except when they're generic. "You are beautiful" or, "You are so sexy" won’t cut it for her - she will think you must have said these to a dozen of other women...
Instead, focus on specific details that will make her feel not only attractive to you, but special. For example, you can say, "I love your cheek dimples" or, "Your freckle is beautiful" or, "Your well-rounded ass drives me crazy!"
Also, speak with a you-focus. Instead of "That feels good", say, "You make me feel good". Instead of "I like that", say, "I love the way you do that". Subtle change, big difference.
"The word "you" sounds sexy to a woman because you're referring to her as opposed to the act of sex. It's very personal, and women love that", says psychotherapist Daylle Deanna Schwartz, author of "How to Please a Woman In and Out of Bed".
Want to be perceived as a great lover? Then you must do more than getting your pleasure and moving on.
For women, sex starts in their mind. So take the extra time to romance your woman with candles around the bed, soft music, sweet scents or even rose petals on the sheets - this will make her feel special, wanted and aroused.
Once you touch her, caress her entire body, not just her hardened nipples and the wet spot between her legs.
Before even touching these hot spots, take your time to fondle her in less obvious places, like her neck and behind the ears. Trace slow, circular waves along your partner's most sensitive zones: her inner thighs, lower back and the palm of her hands.
She wants you to take the lead and hold the space for her to surrender to your enjoying her. Nothing is more masculine than taking the lead and showing that you have direction, you know what you want and you're going for it.
Start pointing her to the direction you want to take, and she will follow.
For example, the most common sexual fantasy for women is to be dominated in bed. Take her hands and place them over her head while you kiss her neck and whisper "You like this." And, that’s not a question.
Avoid asking questions. Not in bed. Ever. In bed, nothing turns off a woman more than being asked, "Do you want me to kiss you on the neck?" or "Should I take off your blouse?" or "Would you like me to go slow?"
Instead, tell her, "It's okay to go slow" or, "I’m going to take off your bra" or, I’m going to make love to you all night" or, "Next time, I'm going to f*ck you even harder".
These statements convey a sense of direction and certainty. When you do that, you create a highly intimate space where she can trust you and feel safe to relax and open up.
Also, stop being gentle when you make love. Women want to be taken, to be ravished. She'll be wildly turned on by mildly rough sex and explicit, downright sexual talk that would make her blush outside the bedroom. She wants to feel that you are going wild for her, and because of her.
Unless mean or not caring about you, most women will never say anything to indicate that you are small. Why? Because they don’t want to hurt you by making you feel inadequate. And, because in most cases, size is more of an issue just in your mind - most men fret over the size of their organ.
However, you should know that women don’t care nearly as much about penile size as they do about its stiffness and lasting power.
When it comes to men’s sexual performance, what women want in bed is to avoid going through the embarrassment of a weak erection or of a premature ejaculation.
When you experience either of these, sex stops being fun and pleasurable; instead, it becomes a dreadful and embarrassing event for both of you.
Depending on which of the two dysfunctions you experience - erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, your partner will either lose interest, or become frustrated when you’re unable to perform repeatedly.
Sooner or later, she’ll find excuses to say "No" more and more often. Sooner or later, she will start entertaining the idea of looking somewhere else.
So if you experience either of these, don’t wait. In most cases, both conditions are perfectly (and easily) treatable, even without having to go through the discomfort of seeing a doctor. There's a completely natural remedy for erectile dysfunction and you can get control over premature ejaculation.
You will be able to satisfy any woman without worrying about going soft or being done in less than three minutes.
Being able to perform well and provide what women want in bed will make you a great lover. You’ll give them a fulfilling, emotionally charged sexual encounter and make them wild beyond anything you've ever imagined!